I’ll never be a doctor.

The following topic brings great irritation to my daily life. Enough irritability that I’m giving this topic the esteemed pleasure of an honorable mention on my Murtaugh List. Some discussions are better left alone, I think.

Listen up people. I’m too old to be asked about school! I’m 25 years old, if I was smart enough to have attended college in the first place I would be more than done by now. I’m so tired of this small talk favorite. I know a lot of similarly afflicted college drop outs that are also tired of this question. It makes us feel low and useless. Yes, I’m a degenerate. Now move on to next inane question about my life.

I would sooner talk to a stranger about the intimate sexual details of my life than explain why I’m not in school. Thankfully I’ll be back in school in the Fall so today I got a whole new annoying question to twitch about. What’s my major? Fuck you, I don’t want to explain why I’m studying anthropology… you don’t want to hear about my fascination with the male and female sexual organs, trust me. Actually I should tell them all about it. Serves you right for feeling awkward enough to ask me dumb questions about my boring ass life.

Even though I’ll be going back to school and this question will be validated for the next 8-10 years of my life… I still don’t want to hear it. I’m simply too fucking old for this shit.

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