I’m very impatient. My hairstylist Sue has been on maternity leave since mid May. Around 3 weeks ago I made my girlfriend Julija cut my bangs for me. She did a lovely job but we didn’t go very short out of fear of messing everything up… Fucked up with no Sue to call on isn’t my idea of pretty. It’s been raining pretty regularly here so I hadn’t been bothering to straighten my hair for a while. Saturday I figured I’d give it a go since the sun came out 2 consecutive days and all. The result of that was a very Joey Ramone looking Ana. I waited for about two seconds for Julija to arrive at my apartment before I grabbed my grooming kit and wielded my 10″ straights aiming them straight for my eyes. I did all the things that Julija had taught me but they were coming out very crooked and I was hyperventilating. So like any bad groomer would do I went into my kit and pulled out my thinning shears… In my industry we refer to these as the “magic erasures”. I went to town with them and slowly began not looking like… well like a girl that just cut her own bangs. Or at least I’d like to think so. It took me about an hour and a half before I threw on a hat and braved the outside world. Since then no one has said anything, I think it’s safe to say I don’t completely suck at this DIY stuff. But that’s not to say I won’t be running with arms wide open towards Sue when she returns. I’m not cut out for this shit.