Lips that touch swine…

I’m tired of taking the train with a group of people that look ready to perform surgery… or Man in the Mirror for that matter.  People are too paranoid for their own good.  Everywhere I turn people are misinformed and bug eyed with the fear of dying from eating bacon or rubbing up against some stranger.  So I decided to do a photo shoot depicting what I see whenever I walk out my front door.  I’m contemplating going out and purchasing a rubber pig snout and wearing it to and from work everyday.  Not that I’m making light of this serious matter… or maybe I am, I’m just an asshole.

Deuces.

Penelope Pussycat (aka Penny) recently turned two years old. Who knew that I’d still adore a cat after this long.  I’ve never been big on felines, Terrence and I would argue back and forth the pros and cons of canine vs. feline til we were blue in the face.  But Penny is a rarity, she’s the most amazing kitty in the world.  Don’t argue with me, I’m crazy now.

Just look at her!

Aw. She’d better live long enough for me to die first.

Achievement of a lifetime.

Recently I turned twenty-five and as far as I’m concerned midlife.  I’ve been trying to account for all my goals and perhaps seek an end to pissing away my life. Last week I applied to college to better nurture my brain and perhaps invest in a career in teaching or research.  I’ve been setting up doctors appointments to make sure I’m in tip top shape.  I’m trying to improve on myself.  A lot of deep introspection going on here.  A few days ago I was watching an episode of The Simpsons and was again haunted by the line “There once was a man from Nantucket”.  This sentence has been plaguing my life, I’ve never been able to know why it’s so dirty and funny.  This dirty limerick is well out of my reach.  Why Nantucket, why?  But today I recalled my suffering and thought it best to achieve one more post mid-life agenda;  Learn the dirtiest limericks punchline.

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
“If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it.”

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA^%#*&^%@*&$@$!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you google and wikipedia.  Well worth the 25 year long wait.