Adventures in черепаха.

I’ve been friends with Julija for 3 years now and I’d never once seen her turtle.  Whenever I came by she’d look for it and always come up empty, further proving to me that she’d made her up.  But as I discussed last week I finally got my proof of черепаха’s existence when she was pulled out of a travel bag and placed onto my livingroom floor.  After a little over a week I’ve seen this turtle run back and forth all over the place.  I’m curious as to how she was always in such good hiding all these years when clearly she can’t stay put.  Watching черепаха get into everything in my house has proven quite entertaining.  Terrence is made uncomfortable by her wandering around but that’s just because he’s a pansy.  She’s adorable!  Plus she eats meat loaf and just about anything you stick in front of her, this is why we’re friends.

She also climbs into and over things for no apparent reason.  I’m waiting for the day I  find her in the bathtub. Don’t doubt her, she’s already climbed into luggage on her own.  Although me and Julija still think the other was behind that one.

I swear it wasn’t me.

For added fun we took черепаха out to the backyard, she seemed to be having tons of fun but she’s so fast for a turtle that I thought we would lose her.  And I almost did.  That was the last adventure she had.

Except of course for today when I found her upside down in the kitchen.  Bad turtle, no dying on my watch.

One of these things is not like the other.

Photo By Carl Mikoy

Photo By Carl Mikoy

I was very confused today when I got off the train at Time Square while on my way to work.  Instead of being nearly taken out by a yellow cab I was surrounded by blocks upon blocks of beach chairs.  I’ve been working near Time Square for slightly over 8 months now and I’ve seen my fair share of gimmicks and head turners so I brushed it off like all those feathers from the last pillow fight.  One of my coworkers told me it was permanent but being the skeptic that I am I didn’t believe her and asked Terrence to dig up the scoop.  Apparently I should pay more attention to the news… but I chose to stop doing that ages ago and am also frightfully behind on my Daily Show intake.  So apparently one of Bloombergs genius plans for a congestion free NYC wasn’t resigned to the chopping block. Who knew?  I’m not sure how I’m going to feel about this in the long run but I was initially annoyed by it.  Think it’s kind of stupid.  On the other hand most of Broadway is already a one way street anyway.  But then again I sure do hate tourists and will miss seeing them nearly splattered atop a taxi cab hood.  I did enjoy not missing my train while waiting for that long ass light to change though… hmm…  This may take a while to settle with me.

Read more about this Broadway oddity.

BiRd-BrAiNs

This tUnE-yArDs album is a good time.  I’m sad I didn’t have it when it came out in March so I could have considered it for the top 5.  What amazes me most about it is the fact that it was made with just a hand-held digital voice recorder.  It’s got a very interesting sound and I’m usually not a big fan of the lo-fi folky stuff.  I’ve certainly heard similar musical styles but I never get tired of ukulele rocking with random sounds of your neighborhood strewn in around noisy jumbled percussion.  Thumbs up to Merrill Garbus, her album is definitely worth being a March top 5 honorable mention.

I especially enjoy Sunlight and Hatari, I’m not even done listening to the album yet so I’m sure I’ll appreciate some more tracks as I get there.

Murtaugh List

In a recent episode of How I Met Your Mother Ted introduces what he calls his “Murtaugh list” (named for Roger Murtaugh, the character from Lethal Weapon played by Danny Glover whose constantly exclaiming “I’m too old for this shit!”), in which he lists off all the things he and his friends are now too old for.  Since turning 25 I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of being too old for this and that.  Not to mention as of late I’ve been consumed by a barrage of adolescent bullshit.  So I decided I would start my own Murtaugh list or in the least a grouping of juvenile occurrences or realizations compiled in a neat category all its own.

Contagious?

Is a soar throat a symptom of dying?  Terrence gave me sick.  It’s funny how tiny symptoms that I would otherwise shrug off are somewhat frightening to me in a superstitious kind of way.  It makes me feel silly to even think it.  What if those masked avengers are onto something?  I sure hope that Terrence doesn’t have the swine flu.  Ahhhhhh!!!

Update: (May, 26) I quickly recovered from the sore throat and all fear of dying escaped.  But yesterday I developed a chest cold and my body is all sorts of sore.  Let the dying commence!

Be my guest.

So one of my girlfriends is staying with us for a little while and she brought along a friend.  She had asked me first as if this tiny guest of ours could possibly be a nuisance.  It’s her itty bitty pet turtle.  For years she’s been claiming to have one and I never believed her.  I’d never seen it in all the time I’d spent in her home and she never talked about it… it was years before she ever made mention to having a turtle.  I kind of figured she was a myth.  But lo and behold, here she is.

I used to have a land turtle a few years back so Dutch is quite used to having them around.  But Penny on the other hand, it’s adorable to watch her learn things.  Terrence thought that she’d torture the poor thing but it turns out after the initial curiosity, she’s kind of uncomfortable and keeps her distance from it.

It doesn’t have a name, or so that’s what Julija would have me believe.  It’s probably some adorable Latvian name and she doesn’t want to tell it to me.  I’ll keep you posted.

Boy gets Girl back.

I’d like to think that most women and Thom Yorke already know what they need.  But in the movies the recipe for true romance is almost always in the hands of “Boy”.  Just when I was thinking of how tired I am with this scenario I started trying to place it in my own life.  How many times has this chemistry played out for me?

Since I’ve yet to live happily ever after it’s hard to pinpoint it… but in my experience it usually goes something like Boy meets Girl, all that jazz in the middle, Boy leaves Girl, Girl lures Boy back with vagina, Boy realizes how awesome Girl is, Boy cheats on Girl, Girl tries to kill herself, Boy marries new Girl, Girl dies alone and leaves fortune to Cat.  I embellished a little towards the end, but that’s a general guideline.

Terrence and I have had our series of ups and downs but the closest we ever came to really breaking up only resulted in sleeping in separate rooms for a few days and then basically forgetting the conversation we had had about breaking up ever happened.  I know that I realized how important he was to me in that time but I doubt if he’ll ever understand just how awesome I am.  Boys are just dumb that way.  Why do the movies so often leave the plot in their hands… it’s no wonder lately films have been ending with Girl dies.

Household drug.

For Penny’s birthday I got her this nifty laser pointer,  I read somewhere that it was an essential tool to have in kitty weight loss.  She fell in love with it and has been for the last 2 or 3 weeks obsessed with chasing the beam of light.  We’ve been having tons of fun watching her leap all over the apartment to tackle this imaginary enemy.

Last week I was showing my mother how crazy she goes over it when Dutch seemingly jealous of her attention darted after it himself and scared the bejesus out of her.  Now I have two cracked out animals in my house.  All they have to hear is the jingle jangle of the key ring and they jet towards me all bug eyed and crazy just anticipating the chase.

Lately Dutch has become a little more crazed than ever and scares Penny off with his laser rage.  Now how will my cat ever stop being so fat?

As annoying as it may seem I think he’s fecking adorable.

My new friend Krazy Glue.

Wednesday night I fell asleep watching television in bed when some time in the middle of the night I woke up to turn it off and officially go to sleep. I reached for the remote, after which I went for my glasses and noticed something a bit odd. It was the feeling of my left speck arm falling by my neck instead of following the rest of my glasses towards my “night stand” (crate of records). Why!? I was so ticked off I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night and even had to go to work in a 7 year old pair that made me want to puke all day long. Since that day my new best friend has become this tube of instant Krazy Glue that Terrence brought home for me. The arm has since fallen again to dismemberment but I will continue to mend it until I can afford a new pair. It’s depressing because I have to tap into my camera savings for this sudden necessity. I’m currently doing my research for an even more awesome pair of cateye lenses… of course in the red variety since I now have a trademark to uphold. So much for my terrific Nikon. Stupid pillow.

Top 5 albums of April.

5. Camera Obscura’s My Maudlin Career
4. Bat For Lashes’ Two Suns
3. Papercuts’ You Can Have What You Want
2. Japandroids’ Post-Nothing
1. Metric’s Fantasies

If not for my soft spot for Metric the number 1 position would surely have gone to Japandroids this month.  Not only for having such a kick ass name but because this album is seriously awesome.  Not to take away Metric’s credit, Fantasies is by far their best work to date.

Listen, Buy, Repeat.